Sexy/Cute Marisa Tomei Schools Steve Carell in “Crazy, Stupid, Love.”

There’s a lot of crazy, some stupid, and not much love in “Crazy, Stupid, Love.” except for the love spewed out by Kate, played by the awesome Marisa Tomei. And with Kate, it’s her tough love that nails Steve Carell, who plays Cal Weaver– a hapless mid-40ish guy whose wife Emily (Julianne Moore) just announced she wants a divorce after 25 years.

While practicing his new cool-guy skills, Cal hits on teacher Kate in a bar. Closing time desperation sets in as Kate agrees to go home with Cal. Cal tells Kate he is looking forward to showing her off to his ex-wife, always a winning seduction line, just before Kate shoves him onto the couch and has her way with him.

[Spoiler alert] She is sooo fine, this Kate that when Cal and Emily show up at Parent-Teacher nite—and Cal discovers that Kate is his son’s middle school English teacher—Kate lets it rip: Cal told her she was sexy/cute (the same line he used back in high school with Emily), and then he had his fun freaky jam session with her and tossed her aside like a warped CD. Yes, it was a one-nighter! He never called! Never in recorded history has this happened to a sexy/cute English teacher who had one too many in a bar. Never. Kate’s really really mad, she’s not taking it, and Cal is going to pay.

As Kate’s diatribe winds down, the waxlike, slow thinking wife Emily finally nods and pronounces that she gets it, something has gone on between these two. Duh. Ya think?

The rest of the film is predictably chick-flicky—Ryan Gosling as Jake is a hunk out to teach Cal how to pick up women.

Jake of course falls in love with the rare woman (Emma Stone) who resists his charms (wait, was I watching “Hitch”?); Cal hankers for Emily and wants to win her back (why is not clear as she seems to have no moving parts); the kids have their own issues like an age-inappropriate crush that causes a 17-year-old girl who never heard of sexting to take actual nude snapshots of herself and placing them in an actual envelope to give to an older man (how hot is that?).

Though no one in this film reaches the perfection of Marisa Tomei, I did find Ryan Gosling to be sexy/cute and would certainly grab my purse if he barked his closer “Let’s get outta here” in a bar– not that he cares but just putting it out there. But you’d have to call me for at least the next six years after that incredible night, Ryan, cause I can make Marisa’s bad-boy lecture seem like a walk in the park, trust me.